Cookie, Penny & Ginger's Big Lesblannel Alaskan Adventure

Peeps! I am back from the Tundra. The Last Frontier. The 49th. Alaska. What a fabulous trip! It is the most beautiful place I have ever seen in my life - an amalgem of Lake Tahoe, Palm Springs, the Gulf Coast, and Sedona. But a billion times better. You know all the pictures you have seen of Alaska - amplify those by infinity, and you might get close to what it is like actually being there. The experience is second only to holding Alyssa shortly after her birth, and knowing in that moment what unconditional love was. And now, you will get a blow by blow of sorts of my trip.

Wait, why is the title Cookie, Penny and Ginger? Well, those are the names we used to protect the guilty (insert evil laugh here). Actually they are a nickname, a wrong name for the real person, and a name given because I was the odd ball out. I, of course, am Ginger. Hey, is this because I am brown like Brown Sugar Ginger or Ginger Snap? Who knows. Anyway, I'm Ginger, but not Ginger in a Gilligan's Island way, more a Ginger as in Ginger Spice kind of way. Muy Caliente!

Anyway... we headed to Ankorage via Salt Lake City on a Wednesday and arrived around 2pm Alaskan time, picked up our rental car, and headed for the hills looking for wildlife - we WERE in the Frontier you know! We drove up a mountain into a subdivision and Cookie thought she saw a stuffed moose. We backed up and there in front of us was not a stuffed moose, but a quite real one. We named her Ethel - so cute. Huge, and molting, but cute. I was designated the Provider of the group so I was on the look out for any moose babies as moomma moose (meese) are notorious for basically killing anything that gets in between her and her babies. No baby for Ethel. We were tired, grabbed a quick bite, and headed to the Long House. I think it was called the Long House because well, the room was long - extremely long. But good hotel.

Our first full day in AK involved travelling on the Seward Highway. This is truly one of the most beautiful drives. Much better than the Pacific Coast Highway, in my opinion. Better than the drive to Sedona - even with the sun setting on those scarlett rocks jutting out of the ground. Amazing. The Belugas were not running, jumping, or fluking. Not sure if the rain, clouds, and 54 degree weather had anything to do with it, but perhaps. We did however, see tens of bald eagles (they sit in the muddy banks of the sea waiting for fish, some ball sheep (which look like big horns but smaller), and a moose with a baby. thankfully there was a road, an embankment, and about a quarter of an acre between us and mooma. She did have her eye on us though. We stopped at a rehab facility and saw all kinds of animals including bison, muskox, black and brown bear, elk, eagles, and coyote and moose. Awesome even though they were behind the gates.

Seward is a coastal town and we planned three days here - one getting there, as the two hour drive actually took around 6 because we kept stopping to look at the scenery, wildlife, and to pee. Milepost magazine was great in mapping out this portion of the trip and I recommend it highly. Arguably, they paid for and planted the ball sheep but since there was no orca sightings, they didn't do their job. Our hotel in Seward was the Windsong and it was pretty nice. A series of cabins, with a separate restuarant and bar and lobby. Nice rooms, great view - we were across from a river and snow capped mountains. Picturesque to say the least.

We planned a 9 hour boat tour of the Kenai Fjords for Friday. And at this point in the trip I realized that perhaps RiRi is not the dark cloud attracter, maybe it is me. We get to the dock and are told the tour was canceled because of weather but some other tours are going out. We chose the 6 hour tour and head out. In the rain. And cold. Thankfully we have on our lesblannels (lesbian flannel) (word copyrighted, trademarked, patent pending), and have rain coats on (pants packed but they do come in later) and our cameras. We are hopeful. Our eyes were peeled for puffin, sea lions, and orca! The captain tried and tried to get us to see orca and whales. We did spot three humpbacks, puffin (cute but ugly), sea lions, sea otters, harbor seals, and some ducks and gullys. No orcas. We did also experience Gale force winds, which inevitably forced us to turn back. At some point I remembered we did have our rain pants so I went up to the upper deck to get them. I was soaked from head to toe, and couldnt believe my stupidity. On my way back down the stairs, I slid. One leg slipped on the stiars, one leg was on the raining, and my arms were wrapped on the hand rail. I tried to stop myself but the sheer force and wetness, and bumpy ride, prevented me from gaining my balance. The crew immediately came to my rescue. Some young thing said "I know you are embarassed but ARE YOU OK?" Uh, yeah I am fine. Promise, she asked. Yes, I promise! Of course in my head I was CRYING in pain and imagining the bruises and pain I would be in the next day. Thankfully nothing really significant materialized but now I see bruises on my person.

We shopped, we did a behind the scenes tour of the Alaska Rehabilitation center, this one for sea life. Do you know how cute baby otters are? Way cute. Great tour. Great little city! Exit Glacier sat mere miles from our hotel. We trekked a few miles to the glacier itself and touched it. Probably a bad idea since it was calving (meaning basically it was thawing out and melting and could collapse on your body at any moment). One cool thing - beside the sheer immensity and density of the glacier - is that the multiple impacted layers of solid ice absorbs all colors and reflects as blue as you look at it. Very cool. Don't worry, I took a picture of me licking the glacier too! Again, no moose, no bear, on this trip. Nothing but mosquitoes the size of my palm. The picture heading this message was taken after visiting the glacier - on our way down the sun came out and created the rainbow you see.

Our next visit was to the Laughing Moose in a little town called Talkeetna, which was dubbed the inspiration for Northern Exposure. Well, it was different than NE but I can see the resemblance. It was cute. The lodge we stayed in was teh Laughing Moose. and it ROCKED! A little cabin really. When planning this trip I requested a million brochures. Every business in Talkeetna sent me something, including the LM. Their website had a talking moose - cute - and I couldnt resist not staying there. One of the owners is originally from Waterbury and was a sweetheart. The place was great, the town was cute. I wish we spent more time there but alas.

Next stop Denali. We hit a bit of the park - a black bear crossed our driving path, and we saw some moose, rabbits, bunnies, birds, butterflies, and two grizzlies. The scenery - unbelievable. The Alaskan range is one of the largest mountain ranges in this country and when we were up in our little 8 seater plane we can see and feel the magnitude of this. We were supposed to land on a glacier but it was too foggy ("packed in") and we couldn't land so we took a little plane to see Mt. McKinley/Denali. UNBELIEVABLE! Amazing. One being in such a small plane was great for me - and solidified my desire to learn to fly. We had to wear headsets and put on oxygen on at 13000 feet. AWESOME. There were 450 people trying to reach the summit that day, and we can see the 14000 and 17000ft camps and some individuals climbing. The north and south faces were just awesome. The glacier and the range were just unbelievably beautiful. I was snapping pictures like a maniac and taking it all in when I smelled something - something like southwest chicken with zesty mayo, mixed with something that smelled remarkably like vomit. I knew it was Penny and REFUSED to turn around - opting instead to smell the sweet scent of the purell I had rubbed on my hands after using the portopotty. I felt bad for a nanosecond as I am a puke-a-phobe and went on record prior to the trip that one of the things I cannot do is help you when you are vomiting. Mean? sure. I did carry her bags out of the plane. Despite Puking Penny, the trip was the BOMB!!! And Penny actually ate another southwest chicken sandwich the next day - I of course will NEVER have southwest chicken again. EVER!

We even saw the BUS. What bus? The bus made famous by Chris McCandless who was a emory student who decided in 1990 that he was abandoning his family, giving away his savings ($24,000+), and living on the land. He spent 2 years hitch-hiking around the country mostly in the west coast and mexico. He changed his name, allegedly learned about living off the earth and decided to head to the bush of Alaska. He sounded like a pompous prick - quoting tolstoy and jack london. Forsaking all and running away from all his issues, etc. But, that is my slant on it. Anyway, he heads to the bush with a 22, machete, 10lbs of rice. He got there in April and by August was dead. While in the bush he found a bus which was put out there for trappers and hunters who might find themselves stranded in the cold wintery weather of the bush. Chris found it and that is where he died. There is a creepy picture that we have probably all seen - a bus with a pretty rugged yet emaciated guy sitting in front of it. That's him. The book Into the Wild by John Ksomething, chronicles the kids journey and is worth the read. The book is currently on the peep circuit - put in the request and I will put you on the list. Currently there are two people ahead of the next one to ask. Sean Penn is directing the movie based on the story.

The Alaskan Railroad, Gold star service, is the BOMB! We took the trip from Denali to Fairbanks and it was simply marvelous. Great food! Unbelievable scenery. Did I tell you about the fires that plagued Nenana which is outside Fairbanks and almost cancelled our Fairbanks trip - yep, over 65,000 acres of land destroied. Apparently a fire not too long ago killed 4.5 million acres so this one was small potatos. But hello dark cloud. Fairbanks looks like any other backwater New England town. More like Maine than the Alaska that we had seen up to that point. We wanted to do two things: mine for gold, which we did (we yielded $8, $3, and $9 respectively), and go to the hot springs, which we did. Our hotel, Captain Bartletts Inn was so nasty. Our room was in the basement, the toilet had permanent stain, and the drain in the stand up shower (no tub) was coming off and full of mold, grime, and nastiness. There was darkwood everywhere and that dank mustk smell all over the place. No way was that place clean. We did stay because there were over booked and we were no willing to go find someplace else to stay. They had a great bar - the Musher's Saloon or something like that. Peanuts that you can shell on the floor, a cute native waitress, and good drinks. And you could write/carve your name anywhere. Great character. Great place.

As for the hot springs. I have never been but heard tell and wanted to go. We drove an hour to Chena Hot Springs and paid $10 for a day pass plus $5 for a towl for the day. Now, we had to take our shoes off prior to entering the lockerroom which of course I thought was nasty because well, I have germ issues. So, we pay our money and then are told by the girl at the counter "oh by the way, you can't go into the hot springs" Why? "Its twice as hot as normal." 220 degrees! WHAT? Why not tell us that prior to paying. Well we drove all that way and we could go into a hot spring jacuzzi. Great! ok so we tried the spring just in case the lady was wrong. She wasn't and then eased ourselves into the jacuzzi. The water was hot, the bubbles were flaring, eastern europeans were kabitzing around us, and the sulfur was aromatic. Then the bubbles stopped - not bubbles so much as jets. And then I saw it. The dead skin floating all over the place. Quickly Thereafter, I exited the jacuzzi. I sat on a chair collecting my thoughts and of course every imaginable communicative disease when through my head. For those who have seen Napoleon Dynamite - do you remember the scene where Pedro realizes the reality of running for president? His head gets hot.... well, I kept saying to myself in Pedro's voice "Gee, are you hot?"
So, in essence, we paid $15 for a yeast infection or the clap - whatever that is - and in Pedro's voice I said "My crotch. It's so hot. I couldn't take it. So, I got out the razor." Yag! Thankfully, all clear on the visible manefestationing diseases! whoo hoo!

We also hit North Pole, Alaska; and an iditarod kennel which was very cool.

The trip was unbelievable. We trained, boated, drove, communed - sort of - with nature, and walked. I fell in love. Not with a person - why would I do that again? But with Alaska. With my life. With nature. Now don't go thinking I am going to run off and live in the bush. I am clearly not adverse to the bush, but THE bush: where I am living off the land, have no running water, and eating reindeer sausage with my eggs - soooo not happening. I will definitely make my way back there - not to die in a bus, but to just see more of this beautiful frontier. I understand the Jack London's who fall in love with Alaska. I understand people wanting to move there, to visit every year. And someday I will likely be one of those people - although NEVER in the winter where there are 4 hours of sun and subzero conditions because then I would kill myself. Further, Hawaii will come before my next trek to AK. I definitely encourage everyone I know to go. Anyone of college age should spend a summer there - most workers were under the age of 21. It was such a different culture, lots of seasonal workers, kids, etc. Lots of Poles and Russians. Definitely culturally diverse but not much racial diversity. Lots of lesbians who were jealous of the lesblannel - but the two dyke bars we tried to go to were shady grady and we didn't go. The cities seemed poorer than I imagined and there were millions of cruisers which was simply annoying. If I saw one more Princess bus, hotel (we stayed in one and it was over priced and poorly managed and serviced), or train car I was going to jump over a cliff.

We planned this trip on our own. No cruise, no tourist bus, no travel planner. Just us, online and on our own. Frankly, we did a phenomenal job. Go Cookie! Go Penny! Go Ginger, Go! I would recommend however, cutting out Fairbanks altogether. Although I do think the train is worth the trip. To conserve time, I might fly into Fairbanks - take in the Mushers Saloon at Captain Bartletts, maybe take a trip to the Eldorado to pan for gold. I would then take the 8am train to Denali - again, the BOMB ride. Definitely worth the 4 hours. Then spend at least 2 days in Denali, one in the park, the second taking in the sites and going on a plane or helicopter to Mt. McKinley/Denali and maybe land on a glacier. You can continue the train (or rent a car and drive) to Ankorage and stay there, picking up a car. See the Ankorage sites and make your way down the Seward Highway and spend some time in Seward before making your way back flying out of Ankorage. Next time I want to dip my foot into the Arctic Circle as I think I will probably freeze my ass off just sitting in a car there.

Speaking of cars - all of them have plugs. If you don't plug it in it will not start. cool. Also, the 19/20 hours of sun is the BOMB! I was honestly getting a tan at 9pm. I never saw night as sun sets after midnight and rises by 430am. Awesome. Of course it was cold and rainy but despite that it was clearly still beautiful. clearly! AWESOME!

Enough about the trip - lets talk about being with me for 10 days. For those who know and love me, I can sometimes be a handful for one full day or a few hours. As you can imagine I was such an evil MFCDB some days. I am used to being alone, doing my own thing, in my own time, on my own schedule, and exactly how I want it done. I have bathroom routines and sleeping routines, and routines for just about everything. Well yeah - three people sharing a room, even with two king size beds can amount fo lots of togetherness. On day 4 I needed to be alone and my attitude was clearly punished by my falling down the flight of stairs. The glacier got me out of it. But then how long can I take towels being thrown on the floor? How long can I be expected to sleep with clothes on? And "ALONE" time (if you know what I mean)..how long can I go? The good thing is that we all needed to eat around the same time. If you know me, you know that I am NOT A MORNING PERSON! And to be woken up by Snow Penny White and her chirping birds was really starting to get to me! And with all that sun I was pumped but exhausted. AND NO TV or LIMITED TV. Not driving myself around! I was allowed mostly to pack the car with our suitcases and all our stuff - that made me happy. And I was GOOD! I was the provider but how can I make EVERYONE happy?

Thankfully Penny and Cookie love me and put up with some Cness on my part. I still love them too - even if I wanted to re-pack their suitcases, fold towels, re-make beds, drive off the ravine into beluga falls and control more than I was allowed to control. More importantly however, I wasn't left to the Grizzlies that shut down Denali campground!

In anyevent,I am home and need to get out and enjoy the hot weather. Golf. Kayaking. Cookouts. Are you Game? Call me.
later and good night,
kar