Mind the Gap

Its travel season and there is just no words for how extremely tired, exhausted, and tired of this whole gig I am. I leave tomorrow for Atlanta and have sore throat, sneezing, and the like - so no doubt it will get worse when I sit in the germ infested hermetically sealed cylinder we call an airplane. Oh and did I mention I decided I was too bored with my afro and needed to color it. I look more like Ronald McDonald than a carmel highlighted african goddess.
Apparently, says J, if I didn't do as much Carmel Goddess maybe it wouldn't look so bad. And further, I look more like a carmel apple and my hair snafu is causing her joy and mirth which is good because she feels like shit! WTH! It makes me feel so warm and fuzzy that the errors of my ways amuse my peeps.

So, travel season is rife with the usual creepiness - I met a woman who had lamb chop side burns - are they called lamb chops or just chops or something different like chaps or muttons - whatever, she had them. You know what I mean the Elvis side-burns. Anyway, she was not on T but did have those burns. I am pretty sure that I gave her the kind snear! Then there are the individuals who show up at 3 out of 5 events, reminding me each time that they met me not once but three times before and did I think differently about their file. The answer is usually yes - but i never tell them that the stalking me is not a good thing.

Last weekend was NYC and well it started off with a bang - not a good bang. I decided not to drive into the city and instead took the train from the capital city. I hopped on the train only to find that there were 80 seats and 100 tickets sold. So, people were standing, sitting on the floor, and otherwise cranky and disoriented and plainly pissed. We get to my home city and I disembark and begin the journey toward boarding the south bound train.

Its raining.
I'm getting wet.
I'm annoyed at the lines
I decide to head to the last car because there is no one down there.
I wheel my over stuffed bag down the platform
I step onto train with my right foot
I lift and place my heavy bag onto the train in front of my right foot
Right foot slips because its wet and slimy
bag wheels out of control in front of me
right leg buckles
overly stuffed tote in left hand drops as right knee hits ground
tote hits ground under train - thankfully does not spill
left leg slides off platform into the gap
left shin and ankle slam into the train
I collapse inside the train
guy asks if I need help up
NO - get away and my bag is under the train
I try and try and try not to cry
I succeed in not crying
I decide nothing is broken
I get up - mortified and hurt
tears well up but I resist crying
woman sitting next to me resists laughing but almost pees herself
I pop some aleve and pretend to be fine
I am not fine
I fill out accident report
I again supress tears
I am not fine
I work til about 10pm and finally ice leg
Leg remains swollen and painful
I am mocked

That is my story. And now....even though my head is kind of burning I am going to buy some dark brown hair color because the mocking for my hair is already much greater than the mockage for not minding the gap.