Guess the Gay!

Today I participated in a Guess the Gay panel for True Colors (ask me about it cause I think the gay folks out there need to be a mentor to a young one..www.ourtruecolors.org). Anyway, I'm on the panel with 10 people and we are presenting to about 25 kids ranging from freshmen to seniors in high school. The object of the game is for the audience to ask a series of questions (except for who are you sleeping with and what's your partner's name, etc). Stereotypical questions are part of this process. So, some of the questions were: for the men, do you like Barbara Streisand?; do you want kids; do you get along with your parents; have you ever been conflicted about your sexuality; do you think people don't understand you; what kind of donuts do you eat; how do you address your friends; do you have more male or female friends; etc. Based on the answers to these and other questions the audience was supposed to come up with am I gay, straight or bisexual.

3 of the 25 kids thought I was a lesbian. 3! The rest thought I was straight or Bi. Why? Because I looked like someone's mom; I had a mom vibe; I looked like I could really be comfortable settling down with a man and being a mom. A MOM! I look like an old suburban mom apparently. Doing nothing but baking pies, and taking care of babies, like some mammie. Are you kidding me? I am so gentile and give off some kind of mom scent. Of course I want to be a mom but do I look like a mom? Well, apparntly. I feel older than I am at this moment and when I finally outted myself I gave a little attitude to the kids because wtf... I said I loved cuddling, reading, and Young Frankenstein. I also mentioned that knew how to change my oil, tires, and could repair stripped gears in a 1965 mustang. How lesbian is that? And when I asked some participants after the event I was told that maybe a faux hawk would help with the lesbian thing.

Honestly!

I need to dykify my wardrobe and Remi, you need to hook up this hair. Or I need braids or Jess hook me up with Dreds! Something!

I am traumatized. All this time I thought I was so butch. When really I am a maybe Bi but mostly straight mom.

Gotta go bake some cookies and tuck the kitties into bed.