Redemption Song

Today I took part in another Guess the Gay panel. I hesitated to get involved lest my title as a frumpy suburban house marm be revisited. But I was strong. I rose, dressed in prison grey, and a red shirt. Put on my man shoes and left the house.

I arrived at the training center and was comforted by the fact that the participants totalled about 30 adult teachers. There was hope. Perhaps they, unlike those bastard children, would see through my feminine mystique!

Five minutes of questions yielded the following:

What kind of music do you like? jazz & blues
What state do you live in? CT - lame question
Who is your favorite designer? what? ugh? the crocs people!
Do you like to cook? No
What are your hobbies? TV, Books, movies
Do you have a rainbow sticker on your car? I carefully avoided the question lest it truly give me away.... I said I have a sticker on my car that says Seward, Alaska.
Do you like the beach? Specifically Cape Cod? That is, Ptown? Yes I love the beach. Last time I went was FL. and I have been to Ptown.
Do you have pets and if so what? Two cats.

Ah, the questions ended. And after all my answers they arranged themselves around the room. 5 said straight - apparently I gave one guy the vibe of being straight because he could imagine me listening to jazz and getting down with some straight stuff. WHAT? ok whatever, the dude was fantasizing about me. Gross.

2 people said Bi-sexual. Why? Because, said one man, the shirt I wore looked like one he had in his closet.

The rest of the people said lesbian. The number one reason - when women don't wear makeup it usually means they are gay.

VINDICATION! REDEMPTION! Oh the sweet joy of being properly sexually identified.