Sweeny Todd

I saw Sweeny Todd a few weeks ago. I am still traumatized by some scenes - and actually almost yarfed while eating a sweedish meatball and imagining one of the scenes. Anyway, let me give you the lowdown:

Johnny Depp ROCKS! He is just the bomb. Now we all know he was dubbed back in the day when he did Cry Baby with Rikki Lake. But let me tell you he was not dubbed here. He has definitely come into his own and matured as an artist. He can actually sing with an accent - it was great.

Helena Bonham Carter was great as crazy looney tunes Mrs. Canibalus.

It was a total Harry Potter reunion with Helena, Alan Rickman, the dude who played Wormtail. Giles from Buffy had a small role. Richman played the Judge, and Wormtail his well, wormtail sidekick.

Depp played Sweeny Todd - who was in a former life, Mr. Baker a wonderful barber who fell inlove with the beautiful blonde. Unfortunately Judgeman fell for the blonde and ruined their lives by abusing his judicial powers and arresting Mr. Baker and taking the Blonde and her child (by depp). The movie begins with Depp coming off a ship with young Antony and singing about his past (to whit Blonde, daughter joanne, and that rat bastard judge and wormtail). Depp is dark and pissed and killed with the straight edge after all those years in prison, wrongfully I might add. And did I mention he is full of nothing but revenge?

Depp makes it to Helenas rotting roach infested house of meat pies - upstairs from which no so coincidentially is where depp and wife and kid used to live. Helena tells him the story of what happened when he left - namely that joann was taken in by the Judge and that the wife went crazy and assumably died. So, Depp moves in upstairs. Helena crones about her love of Depp in a great tune while he is going on and on about getting revenge. Nice. They plot together.

Meanwhile Young Antony is trolling the streets of London and sees the lovely Joann (another song ensues). Coincidence. Truly. The judge, spying on said Joann, notices poor innocent antony and basically has wormtail beat the shit out of him. Threatened with death, antony takes off to see Depp who vows to help him rescue joann (gasp! Joann you say!). Realizing its his daughter depp agrees.

Borat had a pretty hysterical role as a fake Italian barber - challenged by Depp. Depp uncovers the fakeness in Italiancy and barbering and infact Borat becomes the first of many of Depp's victims. Insert evil laugh here. Borat had a young apprentice from the orphanage, Toby. While waiting for a now decapitated Borat, Toby is plied with festering meat pies and gin by Helena and well, they become a little family.

Depp and Helena create a wonderful little business. Depp slashing peoples necks, and dumps the bodies via a cool shoot he connects directly to his barber's chair (dont think about the fact that it is the top floor and the ovens are in the basement) into the basement. He slices and dices while singing - it is a great scene, even if I had to cover my eyes and screetch a little.

Tim Burton was teh ONLY person who could possibly direct this play. It was great. He captured the darkness in the scenery, and made the blood and gore - well bloody and gorey but in that really bright blood. More realistic than Kill Bill but not like some freaky health class.

Of course the film progresses - Helena falls in love (deeper) with Depp. Depp becomes engrossed and changed by his revengeful killing. Toby grows leary of Depp in the protection of Helena. The old Hag starts to look familiar and suspiciously appears in every scene. Antony and Joann - although they never speak they do sing to each other - are planning her escape from the mental hospital to which she was sent when the judge found out that she was going to be rescued.

Helena grows suspicious of Toby's prying and despite her love of the little boy - she locks him in the basement. Depp gears up by singing through the streets for the final slashing. Antony gets Joann and hides her in Depp's barber shop. Depp comes back to the shop, scaring Joann who gets into the borat blood stained trunk because she is frightened. Old woman comes into the shop to complain about the stench - she recognizes Depp, who wildly slashes her throat and dumps her down the barber shoot. He sings again and in comes the Judge. Commence with slicing and dumping. This time Joann is peeking through and witnesses the mayhem.

Depp and Helena go searching for Toby - who is MIA - Depp realizes the hag is his beloved and that Helena LIEd to him about her death. And in a serious departure of revenge, he throws her into the firey oven baking her to death. Toby appears through some grate and slashes Depp revenging the life of his pseudo mom. OH WHAT TANGLED WEBS WE WEAVE!

The story is great. Oh wait - did I mention that those bodies that Depp dumped to the basement were ground up into meat and Helena opened the best meat pie joint in all of England. yep, that's what happened. ICK. So you now see why I would be repulsed by said meatball?! yeah, thats way. who wants to eat some possible brain ball - not me.

The movie was awesome. Acting great. Directing great! Must own!

The missing thing was what happened to Antony and Joann and of course Toby. I will work on a sequel but no time here.

Awesome!