wet ball

Never a dull moment when I am travelling. For some reason my internal tolerance for such trips is waning - surely a sign of age. I used to have no issues travelling and for the most part I do not - however, i have noticed increased queasiness during flights. I still enjoy the people watching, the drama that unfolds while in an airport, the tearful goodbyes, the breakups, the love filled reunions, all coupled with the crapy food smells, not enough purell in the world bathrooms, and screaming children. Overpackers, underpackers, people who STILL complain about secruity, STILL do not understand that no matter that there is one more squirt in the channel no. 5 bottle, its still 16ozs and therefor an unacceptable carry-on item. At least the airports - at least most - actually provide ziplock bags for the people who still forget to bring them.

I started my day at a great conference and then headed north (or some direction at least) to the airport. MY routine is to check in, dump my overstuffed but not yet 50lb bag, go through security and then pee. So, I get to the OSU airport and go for my post security pee. Something didn't feel quite right. there was a wetness that sort of travelled up my leg to my back. What the heck? Of course I think of all those storied about spiders and snakes and crocodiles that come crawling out of toilet bowls and I panic. I started brushing myself off and basically looked like I was chasing my tail. This whle in a bathroom stall with my pants about to fall down. After nearly wrenching my back and calling in the lady waiting to use my stall, I found the culprit.

The beloved toilet seat cover had absorbed splatter and somehow got caught in my panties which caused portion of the cover to ball up and roll itself up my ass. When I pulled up my shirt to fiz the panties and reach to get my jeans, the ball made its way to my back. So, that was attractive and a bit gross. At least it wasn't a croc with its teeth buried in my ass. And hey, sometimes you gotta imagine the crazy and impossible to be ok with the fact that you are holding a ball of pee.

Amy Madigan joins Grey's

Grey's anatomy is back. If anything can kill the excitement of a show its a writer's strike. It really makes you think about the fact that thiese idiots cannot do anything without the writer's behind them. And who can rememer what is going on here. Last we knew, the show jumped the shark. Big time jumping. Why - Meredith is a whining privileged ass. Nothing worse than watching her weep and cry and bitch and moan about how horrible her life is. Life is horrible Meredith - get over it. Sometimes we get handed shit and we just have to deal with tit and move the fuck on. She does not deserve McDreamy - even though everytime I see his eyes do that squinty thing, I want to scream and hit him, she doesn't deserve him. And Kali and George and Izzy. That is the worst story line.

HELLO KALI! And I puked in my mouth when the intestines fell into Christine's hand.

Tonight is a total Carnivale reunion - ok a mini-reunion. Amy Magidan the crazy religious zealot sister of the insane pastor who now does car ads, but who on the show was thinking he was jesus but who was really EVIL incarnate. And then the chick who dated the boy who was the epitome of good, is also on. I need to own that show on dvd.

Ok so back to my initial comment. I remember the baseball strike wen I was a kid, the umpire strike, but I do not remember a real writer's strike. So, this one has shaken my commitment to television. I realized how committed I have been to television and this is a shock to many. But, there is this real internal shake going on. Like, why am I watching shows that keep disappointing me? Anyway - I think actors should also be writers and if they can't write then adios. I think a two fer is the best. and I think i should start that movement. And I need to learn how to stomp - totally random but was tihnking of those jobs that I would love.

next randomness - what has shaken my commitment to going to see all the superhero movies is the fact that What's his toes from Ally McBeal , Charlie Chaplin, and heronie addiction is cast as Ironman. I know I know Iron man was older - but was this a wise choice? I LOVE him, don't get me wrong but not sure he has the old Iron man quality.And Gweneth Paltrow is also in this movie. Will I pay to see it - absolutely. Now, Will Smith as hancock - yes, that looks the bomb. Please also keep in mind that you need to watch the new Narnia, new Indiana Jones - I think I need to re-watch the other three-, Baby Momma looks funny, that hugh jackman and ewan mcgreggor movie looks intense.

Poise anyone

I am literally going to pee myself.

I am watching the top 40 reality tv moments on vh1 and literally cracking up. I am going to pee soon. I can feel it. They just finished the Sanjaya killing the kinks why some little girl is crying in the audience. And now poor Myrna and Smirna from the amazing race. Schmirna had to put on a suit of armor and lead a horse around. The comedians on this show are hysterical. And my boy Clinton from What not to wear is on and I love him. I need to have my own show because the way these people are cutting up on these folks is the funniest thing and well, people say I am funny and that I am judgmental and clearly I can rock this out!

What I can rock out - what my job needs to be is the host of the show Cheaters. It is exactly what you think - one party of the relationship calls the show and says I think my partner is cheating. The team goes out and finds that yes he/she is cheating. They show the video and then they go with the non-cheating spouse to the no-tell motel to find cheater and the jig is up! This is a perfect job for a camera whore nosalina like me.

And...who knew there were so many reality shows. There is one called engaged and underage. This 19 year old is marrying another 19 year old and fiance's mom is a professional bikini waxer. The girl decides to let mom-in-law to be WAX her. Now how would let their mother in law wax their box? NO ONE but this chick. To make it worse the mom-in-law wants to know if she wants it in a heart, a charger bolt, or bare. Sister friend either chose bare OR she had one madly overgrown carpet because when one wax strip was pulled there was a small cat in mom-in-law's hand. Meow!

I am now going to dedicate myself to reality tv. The closest I come is american idol, one season of big broter, the amazing race, and a weekend of flava of love and rock of love. I need more because this stuff is FUNNY!

Three Days to Go

In just three days we'll be marathoning. Wish me luck!

Sad

Today I went to lunch at the hotel. I had my book and ordered a salad with salmon. the salad was great but the salmon was a bit undercooked for me. Anyway, you know that I cannot keep my ears to myself. I have to be in everyone's conversation. A real Nosalina. So, I am reading, eating, and subtly listening to the conversations around me. One table of dudes were talking about cholesterol and heart issues, and eating better - this while getting the lunch buffet of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and pound cake smothered in chocolate syrup. One table was talking engineering terms and so I got bored pretty easy. The table next to me was talking about post-modern blah blah interpretations of victorian writers blah blah. One woman in particular was annoying. or particularly annoying, as the case might be. Anyway she was prattling on about the secondary sources she has read about blah blah - now of course blah blah was the primary subject the three people at the table study so I am not sure why she called them secondary sources. what I gathered is that she was reading the less popular author's interpretation of post modern victorian blah blah. I wanted to take my butter knife and wing it at her head. But I refrained, and lost total interest (still and again) with Steven King's Duma Key. I focused on the salad and the conversation next to me.

I am so suprised and excited when something turns from totally boring and annoying to intriguing in a nano second. The other two people at the table must have been as bored and annoyed with the woman as I was and the guy changes the subject. He asked how the other woman's kids were. This prompted a subject change. The second woman started talking about her kid - who is a bit below his age range and is at a special school. I realized that there was a nervousness in the way she was talking about him but she couldnt stop. My analysis is that the incessant chatter about the special school was just her way of somehow proving that she was a good enough mom. As if to say yeah, my kid is special but look at all that I am doing for him. It was not quite embarassment but she was definitely covering. As though talking about it would deflect the fact that he had disabilities. Who cares - ok there are people who care but they shouldnt. Eventually the guy stopped her by asking the crazy post modern pain in the ass is she had any kids. I wanted to punch him - we had about 5 minutes of silence why ruin a good thing.

And then something even more amazing happened. She said she didnt have kids wasnt married but dating someone. Prompting the what does your partner do question. To which she replies well - he's not an academic like us. What! He works at a vet and the vet has a kennel and he manages the kennel. CLEARLY EMBARASSED by the fact that her boyfriend scoops poop at a kennel. WHO CARES! THEN to make matters worse, she says that it is better this way because he doesn't understand what she talks about anyway. That because she is smarter she makes all the decisions and he has learned that her way is the right way. SHE WAS SERIOUS! By this point I was steaming and I wanted to take her out back and kick her ass. KICK HER ASS! I couldn't believe she was saying these things. It was just sad and I felt bad for the dude because he was with someone who totally disrespected him.

Why do I care. I really don't but was totally pissed at the time. People suck though.

Evilla No More

It is official ladies and gents - I am evilla no more. At least when it comes to assembling home furniture. Why you ask. Jdog and I went on an ikea shopping spree and came home with multiple items needing assembly. I warned her. I did. I warned her on the drive. I warned her in the store. I warned her on the drive home. My rants, my moments of angered silence, my irate muteness, is notorious. Who hasn't faced the evilla side of me? Ok some of you. Jdog got some of it when she moved in - I mentioned my three break downs and one panic attack. right? Wait, I don't think I did. Well, move in day was two weeks ago. We started late but started. I was starved and went into a low blood sugar silence - EVILLA! We got food. We borrowed a truck and took maybe 2 hours to pack a portion of jdog's things - furniture, PANIC ATTACK THAT IT WAS HAPPENING, clothes, almost everything but books (we need more bookshelves), kitchenware (I need to organize and donate my stuff - although we did buy some great cast iron pans), and something else that I cannot quite remember. But more of her things are at our house than her apartment. So, that's good. Anyway, 2 hours packing, 30 minutes loading, a 45 minute drive, and 10 minutes of unloading - it was at this point that my blood sugar hit a low low low and I became C***ZILLA. I think jdog asked me if i wanted something to eat. I was silent. she asked what was wrong and i snapped - I'm hungry! - then back 45 minutes to return truck, have dinner with parents, load the forrester, and unpack again. Around midnight I became so tired I was cranky. But alas, we were able to sleep in our co-tenant bliss.

Back to the story - so, I warn jdog of how douchy I can be when putting things together, fixing things, etc. We get home, make sure we eat cause we know I am bitchzilla without it, pop in Hairspray and get to work. I gotta tell you, this was the BOMB. The best installment process ever! EVER! We were like a finely oiled machine. We put that shit together well. Of course there was some bracketing system we forgot to buy but that is the little stuff. And so what nothing is fully up yet - its ok. I didn't freak out, kill jdog or injur myself. AND, everything was put together correctly. So, joy of joys!

THE Ohio State University

I'm in Ohio at THE Ohio State University. It is true, people really call it that - emphasizing the THE as though it was the entrance to heaven. And it might be. It is an amazing culture - one where students (more than 60,000) roam the acres of buildings and suprising amount of green space. UConn has green space sure - rural green space - expected green space. THE OSU has green space that creeps up on you out of nowhere. The money seems to pour from alums hands - each dreaming of giving back to THE OSU. Each student I ran into today was truly happy. And I asked - and each one (maybe 40 in total) LOVE it. Different majors, races, genders, abilities - they love it. And they don't want to leave - and if they do, its to go to the law school, or grad school. Amazing. I thought LSU had a great thing going - but THE OSU at least by its student body, has clearly won!

Gone Baby Gone

I saw Gone Baby Gone. Now this was a tricky one as I cannot take Ben Afleck. I truly think he is one of the worst actors. And the last thing I saw casey in wasn't so hot either. But I buy into the academy actually knowing what they are talking about when they recommend a movie for an oscar.

I know I shouldn't trust them - what with Unforgiven, and the piece de resistance - DISSING HAIRSPRAY this year. And still I believe them so I loaded up Netflix with all these blockbuster oscar nominees. And so came Gone Baby Gone. It was a bit slow. But I think that Ben found his niche - behind the camera not in front. He did a decent job producing the film. The screenplay could have used a bit of a jump in parts and I would not have cast Casey or his wife but it was a good movie. I loved the twists and I really didn't see it coming until they started laying it out for me (or is it lying it out for me). Anyway, this was a good film.

The film is set in Boston - shock. and Casey and his wife are detectives for hire. They are hired by locals to find a kidnapped girl. There are kidnappings througout the city and there are leads. Mom of the girl is a drug addict and stole from a drug lord. so we don't know who does the kidnapping. Good movie. Must see. I have three movies home now - Into The Wild (about that supercilious kid who thought he could survive in alaska with an old shot gun - didn't work), in the land of Eljah with Tommy Lee Jones, and August Rush which I am told I cannot and should not watch on my own because it is likely to push some buttons. Once I finally get to watch them, I will let you know.

What are the odds

I was on a panel tonight. Three lesbians. Two of us had convertible mustangs. As you know - my first car was a 65 mustang, so really all three had mustangs. I thought the Subaru Forrester was the lesbian car of choice. Alas, I was wrong.

I am trying to CON-vince my friend to hand over her 67 fastback to me for restoration. Time will tell!

My babies

Did I mention how cute my babies are? They have been curling up at night and sleeping together. They just kiss on each other. Of course Satch dwarfs Boo Kitty but it is so cute because he acts like her baby and basically he is gigantor!

Youtube

You have to search Jimmy Kimmel on Youtube.com. I saw the funniest videos. The first one is Sarah Silverman (his girlfriend) sings a song about Fing Matt Damon. She and Matt Damon sing it and it is funny! The second one is Jimmy and what's his face...crap the bad actor of the duo, yes Ben phew I am getting old. So, it is hysterical and you should watch it. There are many many stars in the video I'm Fing Ben Efflack - FUNNY! they do a we are the world thing. just great.

Mrs. Snakles

Well Jdog has moved in. Yeah, stop with the Uhaul jokes! So what I drive a Subaru and she has a uhaul hitch built onto her Golf (hey oldsters - wasnt the Golf called the Gulf at one point or am I mis-remembering?). Anyway, yeah the big move in. How happy are we!

About a week after I finally asked JDog cutely asks if Mrs. Snakles is allowed to move in. Well hello! Of course! If you haven't guessed by the name Mrs. Snakles is a Snake. A lavender albino king snake to be exact. She lives in a big old fish tank that is split in half (actually its more like 2/3 and 1/3) and on the other side is a fish tank. Mrs. Snakles is about 2 feet long and is beautiful. In the tank.

So, Mrs. Snakles and Donovan (the one fish in the tank) moved in last week - specifically during the UConn vs. Rutgers game. As I screamed at the telie, money penny was cleaning the tank. When she was done - dhe came and watch telie with me. Satchmo, my catpuppy sat down near the tank. He sat there and just looked and watched the fish swin. His little tail was waggin and waggin. Way cute. So, we continue with the game. and then Satch collapsed lazily onto his back and started batting his front paws into the air as though playing with an invisible ball. We walk into the room and find that Mrs. Snakles was playing in the water and Satch was fake playing with her. IT WAS SO CUTE.

The next day, Donovan had some friends. Buffy and Olivia - white goldfish. Malcolm and Steve - multicolored goldfish. Mafesto the big boy goldfish. and a harem for Donovan. Our little happy experiment in darwinism. We've already lost Malcolm and Steve. Poor things - but they died of natural causes and not a Mrs. Snakles fish feast.

Tonight I had an issue. I come home with my wonderful kit kat chocolate blizzard and I am ready to chill and catch up with Idol. I throw on the Pj bottoms and tshirt and turn on the computer. Satch was acting weird and sat next to the tank. I thought to myself it would really suck if that snake was getting out. I got up to get a seltzer and what did I see....Mrs. Snakles swimming around the bamboo in the water. Cool. I look closer and notice that the TANK IS OPEN! What the heck is that? THE TANK WAS OPEN. OPEN I TELL YOU!

Here is what will happen. If Mrs. Snakles gets out - I am done for. I will probably sie a million deaths - or one will do it. The worst part is that my friggin cats would eat my dead body while playing with Mrs. Snakles just to digest my liver and start feasting again.

So Jdog doesn't know this but if Mrs. Snakles gets out there is no way I am going to try to find her. If I happen upon her and I don't die of fright, she might find herself outside and I will have to say that Satchmo ate her.

Another Marathon

Have I mentioned that I am doing the Oaklahoma City Half Marathon? Yeah, I'm doing it. Eric ran it last year and was so moved he signed up for it again and signed me, his wife, and his daughter for the half marathon.

We have 6 hours until they take away the finish line. Barring getting knocked down by the runners, or crushed to death by the wheel chair racers, or being blinded by the tears as the survivors of the bombing cheer us on, or maybe getting swept up in a tornado that is bound to find me in the middle of that vast open flatass land they call oaklahoma, or maybe getting stuck in my bike shorts as I try to hurry up and pee in the portapotty while desparately trying not to touch anything cause I didnt put any purell in my fanny pack and someone just pooped on the seat and i am about to hurl. well barring any of that we should finish in plenty of time!

wish me luck. Oh and no money for this one but the MS walk is on May 4th - or as I like to say Quatro De Mayo!

True Colors Shining Through

So, the big True Colors Fundraiser was last friday. Jdog, trixie, leroy, and I attended. lots of folks came out to support TC. It was a great event.


In telling Leroy about TC I mentioned that I was a mentor and he said something that I have heard before..laughter and a "wait, you are a mentor?" What? Of course! Maria said - you can't mentor someone. How is someone with issues a mentor? And Leroy just laughed. And, ISSUES? Who has issues. So what I need the hypochondriac's handbook (there is one but I am afraid to get it because i think it would just feed that particular issue). So what I snort purell and lick that little purell stick we are working on - patent pending. I have so much to offer a little mentee. I'm a wise old sage. WISE I tell you! I can offer like a kazillion things to someone.

So, another "issue" is apparently my "judgementalness." Whatever! I am the queen of diversity and tolerance and acceptance and open mindedness. QUEEN I tell you. But at this little TC event I realized that I learned all my stuff from my big cuz. He walked through this whole event saying things like "You ain't foolin anyone" to the drag queens. And "you look likea man" to the lesbians. And my favorite line of all time - "he is such a queen, when he talks a pocketbook falls out of his mouth." This is the man who MENTORED me so who the F is a bad mentor? huh!?

American Idol Updates

So, I have on american idol cares and have some more things to say. but I will interrupt myself by interjecting some information on Idol Cares.

For instance - Maria Shriver looks like a chewed up pencil with a ball of crazy yarn on her head. Literally take a ball of yarn and lop it on top of your chewed Dixon Tichonderoga and there is maria. If you want to dress it up a bit, just cut out one of those dresses they have on the women's room door and well there you have it.

And Snoop - did I mention the number of voice mails he left a former student asking to "tap that." well he is the shizzle - he's no luda cris but whatever. I need some bling - a bigole head size ring that says KD. Actually I think I have one of those bling rings from back in the day - the two tone gold ring with a script version of the letter K. yeah, that's not Eyetalian.

Kb has a bandaid on his face - I wonder if the victim has whatever used to be under there.

I think I peed. Literally I think I peed. Why. Teri Hatcher is singing Before He Cheats. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS - WHY ACTORS SHOULD NEVER SING IDOL? They did a cute little intro with Carrie (leon's wife) and teri's beau on desparate housewives. Teri looks like a doped up version of my old cher doll. Oh wait - all the band people are from tv. Boccalah from Sopranos and Teri's beau on Desparate housewives. ridiculous. NOt making anyone pick up the phone but did make me never want to ever watch desparate housewives again. Let's hope carrie busts it out. Nope.




What is the big deal with Haley Cyrus. I know I know Lee, Hannah Montana. BUt this is insane. she is horrible. horrible. why would someone fake the death of her dad overseas for tickets for tickets to the concert? It makes no sense to me.


Bono is getting old. Annie Lenox rocks. Heart kicked ass and Fergie getting in there made it hot. I still think those Wilson sisters are throw down. So what it would take me and another to throw down dreamboat annie - But I can appreciate that cause, I'm a big girl too! She can still belt it out.


Is beckam's wife the former scarey spice. she is a beastula.


Is anyone else tired of the Mannings, and all these freaking bizare sports figures. It is a music show - give us the music baby!


And I can't tell if its Celine Dion or Monica Seles - they look like twins. stick twins.


Carrie Underwood is singing and looks beautiful but snoreville song. I am bored with this whole show. Last year there were more songs and singers and less athletes and actors (yes I still want brad pitt's babies). Remember Rascal Flatts last year - I BALLED my eyes for days. Carrie busted out with that Pretenders song and Kelly sung that blues song. It rocked. This year is blah. Its sort of like been there, done that, donated already.


Wait for it... GLORIA STEFAN and some little cuban hotthing. Get on your feet. Gloria looks exactly the same. so cute. and a great song. Ok she brought it. Leon and I got her CD when we went to see Rosie. We;ve hated her since - her being Rosie not Gloria. Once again screwed by Apple. No ipod for me.


I cannot stand Sarah Silverman - despite my other post that said the videos were funny.


Reese Witherspoon is cute - she needed to eat some po boys while she was in New orleans but she is cute. She did a movie when she was young and the first movie I saw her in - I have no memory of the name but Keiffer played some whacked out sociopath kidnapper/molester and Reese was a run away. Reese kicked his butt and he was all deformed after the attack and when she was on trial she looked at him and screamed "look who just got hit with the ugly stick." This is the first thing I hear when I see her face.


Seasons of Love from Rent is one of my favorite songs. That bimbo singing it ruined it for me.

Do we really need a High School musical 3 and did Hanna Montana really need to sing again? She sort of looks like a appalachian version of amanda bynes. Robin Williams is hysterical. And to end the show with a cameltoed Mariah Carey was - well, Inspired!


I cannot take watching this stuff. Yeah I know its bad all over the world. People are dying of every horrendous disease the government has infected us with. but its like watching Mary go blind on Little House on the prarie, or that chick go blind in Ice castles, or someone be visited by death again on touched by an angel, or that michael landon show.


Why am i torturing myself? I can make a relief show for my own self torture. I can see it now. Cameras in all corners of my house, car, work. Basically it would just be me on camera (DING!) and when in trouble I can look into the camera with my sad eye look and I can plead my case. One definite would be a tearful , I started with beaches this morning. moved to steel magnolias. I threw in simon birch by lunch and then I look into the camera and say, If you do not call now, I swear I'll put in Terms of Endearment. Call and save me from my sad movie addiction. OR maybe something more like - why wont this bitch drive faster. I think I might lose it. I'm going to get out of my car and beat this old lady down. While I'm at it I am stealing her license and keys. I'm really going to do it. At this point I look into the camera and dramatically say - please, support me in my efforts to safely and legally erradicate all old drivers. Hell I'll even take the show to Zimbabwe. It could work. You'd watch and you know it.

Commercials

There are some really funny commercials out there namely:

1. that text message one - I probably wrote this before but it really makes me laugh. There is a mom, two kids, and a gram sitting around playing scrabble. The kid makes ROTFL as a word and mom freaks and says something like all you do is txt and she grabs the phone away from gram and gram says ONUD! FUNNY

2. the coke vs. coke zero ads. those two guys asking lawyers to take their case of taste infringement. Specifically the lawyer who says something like I'm in real estate and they say perfect - this one (zero) has moved in and taken prime real estate. FUNNY!

Dolly Triple D Parton or as I like to say Backwoods Barbie

WOW! Those boobs just get bigger and bigger. So, Dolly was on idol at some point recently. And she is just the bomb - and you know I loved 9to5, and Rhinestone Cowboy. Best little whorehouse in texas was lacking something namely a good script. And I love singing Islands In the Stream.

Her laugh is cute - but she does look like her top half could detach from her body and float into the ether. Nonethless she is fabulous - even if she thinks she's still 70 I can see where she would be confused since I think she and Joan Rivers are tied for the most surgery - except Dolly went to someone who graduated from med school and Joan went to Don Rickles. ANYWAY, I still digress. So the contestants have to do Parton songs.

1. Brooke - I love her. She sang Joleen - great song. She is pretty consistent.
2. My boy Cook - something about a bird - good but listen to me his version of BILLIE JEAN rocked the house. Try to catch it on youtube if you can.
3. Ramiele - forgettable. so much so i forgot the song completely. I really do not like her at all.
4. Jason - blue eyed dread boy. I adore him and think he is the bomb. Travelling through. PERFECT SONG and JDOG needs to do this song.
5. Irish Tattoo girl. Here you come again. I love this song and she made it a ballad and well - it is one of those songs that I like to rock on. ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS SMILE THAT SMILE> THERE GO ALL MY DEFENSES......but this chick rocks. I need to fix my GD ipod because all my muzac is in there and I have been relegated to listening to the CD player which is just too limited and doesnt really help my vastly changing moods.
6. Little David - Not suprising did a ballad. poor dolly almost lost her fake eyeballs or was that eyelashes. Some jesus song i think smokey mountain jesus. he is cute AND THAT WILL KEEP HIM ON THIS. Ooops sorry for all caps. Anyway, the issue with David is that he's been Clayed. That is, his ballads will make him just like Clay - he is and will be adored by the young kids, older women, divorcees, lesbians, all the world over. We will wear out shirts that say Davemate and spend way too much money on tickets. But hey I will not go see him in spamalot!
7. Christie is horrendous - how the heck is this bimbo still on the show. I really dont understand because she does not have a lick of talent.
8. Syesha - I think it is ballsy to sit on a piano on idol. I further think hooking yourself up with a bad weave on said piano is even worse. But this woman has pipes. She is no whitney - well neither is whitney. She's no Dolly either. But she sort of is this weird cross between whitney and mariah and she wants to be Rhianna and maybe beyonce but basically she needs to just chill and be herself because she can really sing - even if her hair whack and she cried.
9. That Aussie, Its all Wrong and its all right. Jdog calls him the bizareo world Jim Morrison. I call him the aussie who makes that weird face that makes me want to punch him. But why argue about the little things. He does rock out even though he wears an ascot. I remember reading an article when I was a kid that
explained why people with accents dont have accents when they sing. hhmmm can't remember now.

Paula is drunked or stoned again. Not shocking.

I cannot believe Dolly wrote all those songs. I didn't know she wrote songs at all. curious. rock on with your bad self.

A couple things - Backwoods Barbie. Honestly I am not sure what to think. She is sort of a 90 year old characterature of herself. She wore a white outfit that included stilettos, capri hotpants, and a a cape thing. and she spoke instead of sang. Now I love her and really need to go to Dollywood! but I dont think I will buy this album. Its probably better than that Dolly tribute that I bought but Jesus and Gravity just aint doin it for me.

April Madness

Ok so the ides of March lead me to April Madness. What the heck kind of game was that? Stanford beating UConn! and then Tennessee taking the friggin title. I just cannot flippin take it. Thank GOD Uconn wasn't playing Tennessee in the final. Why? Because I think I would have had to take the week off. The cold of misery was dark. The only shining light was that Penny and Mavis took the tickets to the final four but that too was darkened when Penny showed up at bowling with a nice final four windbreaker. Alas none for me. :)